Please translate this German! PLEASE?

I was at dinner tonight. And my mom's boyfriend's son was writing german on the table about us, so i took the piece of paper home.

"Palmer ist die schnell" - Palmer is the "schell??"

"Sie ist grob un klein" - 'You (formal) are rude and small', or 'She is rude and small'

"Jillian ist kalt" - Jillian is cold

"Ashley ist Prima! Sie ist meine schwestes. Ich liebe dich" - Ashely is awesome! she is my sis. I love you.

"Meine freunden ist Grace. Sie ist mochte und ich liebe dich" *I think he means freundin, (feminine for "friend"), so - My friend is Grace. She is "mochte" and I love you. I think he's trying to say "Ich mag sie" wich means I like her, mochte means 'would like'

He's obviously not very well at German, using "ich liebe dich" in those cases, when he's obviously trying to say "I love her" (Ich liebe sie)

*Note that 'Sie' could either mean she or you (formal), depending on the 's' written in capital or not, but I don't trust his German, so just in case.

*'Schnell' means quick, so "Palmer is the quick" :S

*Ist am Kristal" - Is on crystal :S

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